They become the Court Stalker when they discover that they can possibly use the court system to harass you – and if it starts, they will resort to endlessly making ficticious and false claims to get your attention, drain your bank account and suck the energy right out of you.
With my personal stalker situation, after he realized he could not find any other way to physically stalk me, he started to use the more cowardly means of engaging various Canadian court systems in different provinces to try to harass me.
He likely figured he could not only annoy me, but he could also get judges and lawyers to order me to provide him with my personal and private information by making numerous vexatious claims against me. I am pretty sure he liked the personal interaction, the contact, that the court drama brought him too.
But in the end, he lost (repeatedly) – I exposed him publicly – with permanent records, orders and transcripts all in my favor.
If you want to know some ways to deal with a court bully or vexatious litigant, there are many which I have tried, tested, and have helped me over the years.
The best way to cease any court applications is to expose the bully or harasser. It can be easier said than done – but it is possible. Confidence and being sharp is key. Turn it into a game and play their own game against them.
When a person makes claims against you in a court of law (or even in cases involving police and government agencies), you must immediately fight back. If what the pursuer or harasser states is false, or they outright lie or make any statement in their weak attempts to hurt or harm your reputation, then you can use the truth to expose them. Liars always get caught.
Resolve yourself of taking anything they say personally or as an attack and turn it around on them in a very non-emotional and business-like way. There are a number of ways to do this.
It is very easy to “break” these types of bullies in court by revealing facts that they find devasting:
– State anything that contradicts their inflated perception of their grandiose (false) self;
– Criticise and disagree with them;
– Expose their fake achievements, belittle their self-imputed and fantasized “talents and skills”;
– Constantly hint that they are subordinated, subjugated, controlled, owned or dependent upon a third party;
– Describe the harasser as average, common, indistinguishable from others; and,
– Imply that the harasser is weak, needy, dependent, deficient, slow, not intelligent, naive, gullible, susceptible, not in-the-know, manipulated, a victim, an average person of mediocre accomplishments.
Sometimes they can act so convincing, and judges and lawyers fall for their bull. So to expose them, you should distinguish the facts from the psychological crap during any cross-examination of a court bully or through any deposition made by them. Your own responding affidavit (which often the judges do not read entirely anyway), can be full of these types of statements – which will get under their skin and fluster them.
Be equipped with true, obvious, undisputed, thoroughly authenticated and vouched-for information. Get as many witnesses as you can, as well as contradictory evidence together to refute what they say and claim. Make them look like complete liars and turn the courtroom against them. Judges hate liars and can see through them almost instantly through watching their body language. Lawyers hate dealing with liars and are usually trained to expose one quite effortlessly.
If you represent yourself on court claims (which can often be best rather than wasting money on a lawyer who may not be as sharp as you), then be prepared ahead of time with all of your lines of questioning written out on numerous pages. The more the better. Role play with friends and family beforehand. Improvise as you go along. Take your time, do not rush, and ask for breaks to regroup. It can be stressful, but will be worth everything if you step up to the challenge and kick ass.
The reason you need to have the upper hand in court is that court bullies think they are superhuman in their capacity to distort reality by offering highly “believable” alternative scenarios, some which fit a few of the facts. You have to disect each claim or statement they make and turn it completely against them. Once you expose them a few times in the early moments of a court matter, they will start off flustered and not know what to expect next from you. It will become a nightmare for them. They may say all sorts of odd and off-key things – and any sharp judge or lawyer (representing them) will immediately catch on, and ask that the whole ordeal end right there – cutting the case short.
It is very easy to conquer a court bully – even a well-trained and well-prepared one.
The harasser is likely to react with rage to all these maneuvers and, in an effort to re-establish their fantastic grandiosity, they are likely to expose facts and make revealing statements that they had no conscious intention of exposing.
A court stalker will react indignantly, with wrath, hatred, aggression (or even overt violence) to any infringement they perceive to be their natural entitlement, including the right to be heard and listened to by the court. Their true colors will show, which will embarass them even more, because it is in a public forum, and often recorded.
Court bullies and harassers believe that they are so unique and that their lives are of such cosmic significance that others should defer to their needs and cater to their every whim without ado. They feel entitled to interact or be treated (or questioned) only by unique individuals. They absolutely resent being doubted and “ridiculed”. So if you can personally question them while they are on the stand, this is even better because they will not like being on the spot, nor being exposed by the very person who they wanted to victimize.
Any insinuation, hint, intimation, or direct declaration you can make that indicates they are not special at all, that they are just average, common, not even sufficiently idiosyncratic to warrant a fleeting interest will inflame these folks. Reason being, they hold themselves to be omnipotent and omniscient.
Tell them that they do not deserve what they are asking for, because it would never happen, and let them know that their desires are not everyone’s priority, nor reality under the circumstances. Let them know that they are boring or ignorant, that their needs can be catered to by any common or junior practitioner (medical doctor, accountant, lawyer, psychiatrist), that their motives are clearly transparent and can be easily gauged.
Let them know that in the end, although they do not want to, they will eventually have to do what they are told or ordered to, and that their childish temper tantrums will not be tolerated, and that no special concessions will be made to accommodate their inflated sense of self.
Make it clear to them that whenever they are subject to court procedures, investigations, etc. – that they are just going to lose control and expose their true agenda. Make them realize that they are going to be the laughing stock of the court.
In conclusion, contradict them often, disagree with them and criticize their judgement, expose their shortcomings, humiliate and berate them.
“You are not as intelligent as you think you are”
“Who is really behind all this? It takes sophistication which you don’t seem to possess “
“So, you have no formal education”
“You are (mistake their age, make them much older or way younger)”
“What did you do in your life? Did you study? Do you have a degree? Did you ever establish or run a business? Would you define yourself as a success?”
“Would your children share your view that you are a good father?”
“You were last seen with a certain Ms. … who is (suppressed grin) a stripper (in demeaning disbelief)”
Many of these questions cannot be asked outright by a lawyer in a court of law. But as a self-represented litigant, you will be able to get away with most of these types of questions, even if the judge does not permit them to answer or their lawyer objects. At least you have planted the ideas in the other participants minds.
You can also insinuate or hurl these types of statements at them in emails, during court breaks, or any other time where you can find the means to get under their skin. Court bullies hate innuendos even more than they detest direct attacks. The fact is, that is what they had planned for you.
This experience will likely frighten them to the point that they just drop the legal claim and run away with their tail between their legs. If you are confident and demonstrate that dealing with the court can be more fun for you than it will be for them, and have a good time while at it, smiling, laughing, and directing numerous jokes at the expense of the court bully, then they will see that there is no way that they can get to you by bullying you through any court.
Until next time… keep safe and sane…