If you haven’t already watched the movie The Next Three Days
(2010), starring Russell Crowe, you may want to.
You can take away a lot of pointers on how to disappear and never be found. It is a riveting thriller that will keep you engaged throughout the entire show.
A lot of what I am going to share here will provide you examples of what Russell Crowe (John Brennan) did throughout the show. By completely liquidating his family’s possessions and relocating to another country, he also made it so they could never be found.
This is especially important if your stalker is obsessed with you and has unlimited resources.
What you can do if a stalker is hell-bent on finding you…
(Some of what I am going to outline may spoil a bit of the movie for you; I apologize in advance.)
Here is the trailer…
The movie is about a college professor, John Brennan (Russell Crowe) who has a perfect life. Good job, a beautiful home, a gorgeous loving wife Lara (Elizabeth Banks), and a cute little boy (Ty Simpkins).
Things go terribly wrong one night when Lara’s boss is found dead in the company parking lot after having been beaten in the head. Since Lara was the last person seen leaving the parking lot and had previously argued with her boss at work that day, she gets charged, convicted, and sentenced for the murder, leaving John to raise their young son alone.
John does everything in his power, all he could possibly do over a period of three years, to overthrow her conviction. With the rejection of their final appeal, Lara becomes suicidal and that’s when John decides there is only one solution – break his wife out of prison.
Refusing to be deterred by impossible odds or his own inexperience, John devises an elaborate escape plot and plunges into a dangerous and unfamiliar world, ultimately risking everything.
I suggest watching this movie because, in many ways, this storyline can be applied to victims facing a stalking situation.
Why you may want to consider relocating to another country?
Maybe you’ve contacted the police, and they don’t seem to be able to help – they cannot find a way to pin a charge on the stalker or put them away for good. Plus, even if they were in jail, it likely wouldn’t be for long. Eventually, most stalkers get out and continue to wreak havoc on their victims again. So in this type of scenerio, there is a loss of faith in the justice system to help you.
Perhaps you have moved to another city, maybe even relocated a number of times, but the stalker manages to keep finding a way to locate you. What other option do you have?
Address Confidentiality Programs
Since most victims of stalking or domestic abuse do not qualify for any sort of government or police relocation service, such as the witness protection program, they sometimes consider enrolling in an address confidentiality program.
This approach is not a sure-fire way to rid of the stalker permanently. Unless they are incarcerated or dead, victims usually continue to look over their shoulder, living in anxiety and fear indefinately.
Address confidentiality programs have been known to fail. There have been many stalking victims already who have voiced that these types of programs are not what they would expect, and not always effective.
How Do Criminals Successfully Evade the Law?
To learn more about living under the radar, and how a prison break can be done, John meets with a former convict, Damon Pennington (Liam Neeson), who has already escaped from jail seven times and written a book on the subject. Interviewing him under the auspice of a course he is teaching at the college, he asks Damon how he did it.
“Balls – and a lot of luck. Look for the key. Look for things that break up the daily routine. When something happens thats when someone makes a mistake…
When you see it, you have to be ready. You have to have the entire plan already in place, even before you try to escape. Escaping is easy. Hardest part is staying free. You have to know where you are going to go, and how you are going to get there. You have to know how they plan to catch you. Where. When…
They will have your description. Stay far away from the train and bus stations. Forget the local airports. Leave from another state.
Second – Identity. Its easy to find fake papers, harder to find ones that will get through an airport. You will need a passport, drivers license social security number. If you have to rent a car, find a place that will take a cash deposit. They’ll still run a credit check so still use the real persons name on the ID.
Third. Destination. You want somewhere that doesn’t attract American tourists. Think Yemen.
And money – you will need a truckload of it. Everything is expensive. Hotels. Travel. Information. Enough to last 5-6 years. You run out of money, you run out of friends.
Before you do anything, you have to ask yourself if you can do it. Can you forget about ever seeing your parents?
If you can’t then don’t start… Good luck.”
Over the next 3 months, John starts putting his plan together, along with what he will need to break his wife out of jail and flee the country. While trying to secure second identity documents for his family, he gets taken advantage of, beaten up, robbed. But finally, John gets what he needs.
He researches and documents different ways to find loopholes in the prison system. Eventually he finds one.
How he broke his wife out of prison, however, is not the point of this article.
The most important lessons in watching this movie, are the activities he undertook beforehand.
1. He kept quiet about his plans.
John started to slowly detach from his extended family and friends. He did not tell anyone anything, including those he sought help from. His wife did not even have a clue he was planning to break her out, until the moment he did.
Friends and family, even those with the best intentions, can let information and details slip out to the wrong person. So if they have no information, then there is zero risk of it happening.
2. He liquidated everything he could.
He found ways to come up with enough cash to leave the country with his family, and survive for a period of time without employment. Although I would never suggest thinking about robbing a bank or hitting up a drug dealer, John found what he needed through extraordinary measures.
There are many ways to come up with the finances for a relocation. Cash is best, and lots of it. You do not want to be tracked by credit card or debit card transactions. If a stalker is looking for you, all they need is access to your financial statements. In most countries, you can carry under $10,000 cash across a border (per person). Some experts in asset relocation suggest that if you plan to leave the country with more than the limit where you have to make a declaration or disclosure, just convert your cash into gold bullion. Easy to transport. Gold is a world-recognized currency, and continues to rise in value, so also an excellent investment over the long-term.
3. He only brought a bag.
Armed with only the essentials, John packed a bag containing cash, change of clothes, toiletries, and documents for each member of the family. No suitcases. No baggage.
Everything they needed could be bought or found in their new country of residence. (Exactly why downsizing and liquidating is often a wise idea.)
4. He had the support of his family while completing preparations. John had a back-up plan in case he failed. He did not involve his family in anything, until it was time to go.
5. His plan was perfectly drawn out. John assembled maps, photographs, notes, and other papers on a wall in his house. He then tore it all down and stuffed it into separate garbage bags before leaving. One bag was left in the trash outside his home, and the rest in a dumpster some blocks away. He did this to misguide the detectives regarding their final destination, giving misinformation and creating confusion about where the police should start looking for them.
6. He did whatever it took and focused only on the end result.
Completely out of his comfort zone, he went through the motions of turning his life as he knew it, upside down. With only the final goal in mind, his wife’s freedom and his family’s peace of mind was all he cared about.
You can see that he is emotionally stressed, physically beat, and full of anxiety throughout the movie. But this doesn’t matter because after he completes what he needs to, he can return back to his normal self. It is all about the end result for John.
What I would not suggest, nor is necessary for a successful relocation, is the following:
1. Creating a new identity or stealing one from another. You can safely relocate to another country in your own name. It would be extremely difficult, if you do not leave any clues, for any investigator or detective or stalker to find you if you do not connect your new life with your past life. Especially if you travel through multiple countries to your destination.
2. Robbing, stealing, harming, killing or hurting anyone. Then you will have more than a stalker hot on your trail – the police will be out to get you too. They may even help the stalker find you.
3. Accumulating 5 or 6 years of cash.
You can survive in many countries for less than $2 per day. The best thing is to live as the locals do, nothing extravagant, and stay far away from any touristy-type destinations.
Research multiple countries before you leave, and when you get there, live in a very cheap motel for a while until you decide you feel comfortable with the area and want to settle. Rent something, but never sign a lease. Try to get a place that has all the utilities included in the rent so that nothing is in your name. Get an internet prepaid connection that is untraceable.
If you plan to liquidate any accounts with balances that you left in your home country, do withdrawals in different countries, over a period of time, so that it can throw off your pursuer. Buy only the basics (if the place you rent is not furnished) and items that you can abandon if you really had to – bed, kitchen table, small sofa, basic kitchen and bathroom supplies.
It is possible to accomplish and many people have already, including myself. It was a bit scary at first, learning the ropes of international relocation on my own, but now it is a walk in the park.
Saying this, I am currently completing a comprehensive guide on how to live in Mexico, under the radar. Although a person may not feel Mexico is the ultimate destination they would choose, it will apply to other countries and jurisdictions as well.
When it is ready, it will be available for my readers to download.
To make sure it entails all the key elements of a successful relocation from a stalker, I would like to garner some feedback from my readers – what questions pop out in your mind.
For instance, the most important things that people think about when preparing for a relocation. I will offer some personal experiences and lessons learned so that other victims in the same situation will find it much easier to find safety and peace of mind, and avoid making any critical mistakes.
Please leave a comment below (the option of an anonymous comment is available here too).
Until next time… keep safe and sane…