Tuesday, May 17, 2011

How to Cope With a Vindictive Narcissist?

If you want to know the trick in dealing with a vindictive bully, psychopath, sociopath or narcissist, learn what Sam Vaknin has to say.

His insight into how to deal with these various personalities may help you shed light on your own personal issues with stalking, harassment or abuse.

Sam advises readers on his website that he is a narcissist himself, which obviously would help tremendously in knowing what a diagnosed narcissist views as the obvious solution.

So take his word for it and learn as much you can - straight from the mind of Sam Vaknin.

Until next time... keep safe and sane...


Anonymous said...

Valuable information for the victim
I think when a N wants you to forgive him, he means.

Dear Person that I hurt,

I wanted to apologize for hurting myself, Deep down inside, I know that you were to good for me and because of that I hurt you, because of that, I am alone and I feel sorry for myself. I have yet again, failed at an attempt to rule someone else, they saw me for who I am. I feel compelled to write you a letter of apology so I can make myself feel better and deal with the way I know I treat people and as long as you can forgive me I can go on existing. Please let me exist to you? You hold a power over me like I once believed I held over you, simply by not letting me in. Simply by not letting me get to you, hurt you, see you, talk to you, and take take take! The love you gave me.
I made you feel special, like you were the one who was going to change my heart and yet, you didn't fall for it. You see me for who I am... This I simply cannot deal with. I hate myself, a lot... My existence is through you and others who acknowledge I exist... Can I PLEASE exist to you?
I know you wish this letter was written because I feel sorry that I hurt you, its not.. I am writing it because I hurt MYSELF, I feel bad for myself... I could care less what your up to, as long as you feed me something once in a while...
You're one smart cookie! Ignoring me, who do you think you are? I AM GOD, never forget that.... I control you, I control your thoughts, your dreams, you past, present and your future... only because you let me though, and how dare you try to rule your own life? Just who the F^%$%# do you think you are?
This is MY world, you exist to please me, got it? If you disobey what I WANT, I WILL make sure you pay for this… I’ll do little things that piss you off, or make you wonder if its me behind it… I’ll play internet games, call your friends and pretend to be that good guy you met, you know? The one I pretended to be to “lure” you in to world…. The one no one believes went away except for you…the one none of your friends or family saw, Im a good actor huh? I should get an award… I rock!
We can pretend though that you don’t think of me… I know you do.. Right????
RIGHT!? Do I exist to you afterall????? In confused…. How could I once use you like a puppet and now you leave me hanging like this… I WANT THAT CONTROL BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT IT BACK! GIVE IT TO ME!...
Please? I miss you… Not really but I know this will lure you back in… God I’m so smart. . .I should write a book on how to mess with peoples heads like I can mess with yours. . . Your dumb! Not really, I AM DUMB, I like to project my problems on to you, because you will always be stronger then me. I wish I were you, I really wish I were you…. Can I be you? I tried to take you away, for myself! Why didn’t you let me have it? You think your slick huh? You cant fool me, I believe I am superior to you…. But, only because you let me believe this every time you even TALK, THINK, DREAM about me… I bet you wish you could get me out of your head like I can get you out of mine huh?
I threw you away like a piece of trash because, you are nothing more to me but an object. A toy, you know… that kids play with? But as long as you let me play with you, I can survive, I can know I exist, I can know I am worth something to someone….. Please?

P.S. I just want you to know that, there is someone better out there for you, hes waiting to meet you and I’ll be damned if I won’t try my hardest to make sure you never meet him. If you do, I’ll make sure I am always on your mind so you never forget and I can once again, trick you.

Anonymous said...

That is so spot on of my ex girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

That's my ex girlfriend too, Does it ever end, or will she eventually find a new victim? She's now making threats against my public reputation by forcing me to give her things that I own. She was draining me emotionally and financially, I had to get away from her, and I did, so I thought.

Just when I found peace in my life once again, she came out of nowhere to extort more from me. She feels no emotion, empathy or remorse. The only thing I have to defend myself are the emails she sends.

It only makes her more angry when I respond to her with short, kind replies. I refuse to pulled back into the dark abyss she once kept me in. Never in my life have a I met such a woman. She is stunningly beautiful and she knows it.

If she somehow turned off her viciousness and approached me lovingly, I know she'd pull me back in, that's the scary part.

These items she wants are worth nothing to anyone but her. She wants to regain control. I'll give them to her but I refuse to meet her or go to her place to drop them off, it's too dangerous. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally.

Though I'm hoping that I will never hear from her again, I'm told that it's just wishful thinking, she will not stop until I'm destroyed. I treated her like a queen, and this is how I'm repaid? I've consulted an attorney and I'm keeping detailed records of emails, texts, receipts, pictures and anything else I can find. It's my only defense.

She prides herself on her reputation, and if she comes after me again, her life will be displayed in court for all to see. I never thought I'd find myself in a situation like this, I would have called anybody else experiencing this a wuss, but here I am. It sucks.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that letter is my ex. He always called himself god. I had to read it twice to make sure it wasn't him. But than, he would never say he was sorry or admit to any wrong doing, even when cornered red handed. That s when you got the shit beat out of you. That narc in the letter admits to his flaws, couldn't be him.

Anonymous said...

sounds like my ex Lois, unfortunately I have a child with this woman!