If You Are Being Stalked…

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If you are being stalked, the first thing you have to realize is that the police cannot, in reality, come to your aid. It is difficult for the police to prove a stalking case, and even if they do have evidence, it is unlikely that the prosecutor will waste much time, money and resources on cases that are difficult to prove.

Prosecutors are rated on the amount of cases, or the percentage of cases, they win. Not on their decision to protect the public. The prosecutor may be willing, but this does not improve his or her job rating.

Basically the justice system eliminates prosecutors who take on difficult cases and lose. As a result, there is oftentimes a low conviction rate for stalking and criminal harassment.

A stalking scenario is the penultimate case in difficulty to prove because the police think they have more important and more violent criminals to investigate. They also have limited resources, budgets, time and insight into stalking.

No one can understand, if they have never been stalked themselves, what it is like to BE stalked.

So essentially, you have to take matters into your own hands and accept that the legal system is not always your friend in these types of situations.

Saying that, if you have a stalker, the first thing you should do is get a restraining order.

If you suspect that your decision to take out a restraining order will escalate the situation, then hire a private detective or personal security. They will monitor the situation, better than the police can, and gather evidence on your behalf.

When you suspect that the stalker has been violating the restraining order, the private detective can turn over evidence to the police to make this a more prosecutable case (because a restraining order exists). They can take pictures of the stalker violating the restraining order, they can act on your behalf as a credible witness, and ideally, serve as your personal protection. This is precisely what the rich and famous do to deter stalkers and win stalking cases.

With this evidence, the police can approach the prosecutor with clear evidence that a previous court order has been violated. This is a case that the prosecutor can win, because of the existing court order in place. Thus you can get a measure of justice out of the judicial system.

But in many cases, it may not be sufficient to keep the stalker from stalking you.

If whatever penalty that the stalker receives does not deter him (or her, not to be gender biased), you have to accept the fact the only way you are going to rid yourself of this person, is to escape.

In the age of the internet you must drop all your social networking sites and change them to something that is more difficult for the stalker to access. You might have to change these networking sites every six months, depending on how determined the stalker is. Use aliases or pseudonyms if you can.

Develop three different email addresses – one for friends, one for family and one for business. Others for new online friends or acquaintances if need be.

Pick a location in the world that you think you will like, and go there to live. Before you leave, explain to friends and family why you are doing what you are doing, and promise them that you will reconnect with them as soon as you feel safe. But do not tell anybody – even family and friends – where you are going. Your location can be unwittingly revealed to the stalker in a simple keystroke on your computer or a tapped telephone call.

I know that this is a difficult undertaking, but this is the only way you can deter a person who is psychopathically determined to have you.

This move is especially important if you suspect that the stalker might turn violent or is unpredictable. The position you are in already is likely untenable. There are few options available to the stalked person that will actually work.

I know that you have to give up your friends, family, your job, and everything that you consider important in your life but you have to understand when there are drastic people in your life, you have to take drastic measures. The single most important thing is that you survive.

Everybody’s decision is going to be different, but after being stalked myself, I realize the only option is to isolate myself from the stalker and make it as difficult as possible for him to find me.

Most stalkers will get bored or lose interest if they cannot easily find you. This does not mean that some stalkers will use all of their available resources to find you, including use of the resources and efforts of others.

There is simply too much information on most individuals in the western world that cannot somehow be accessed by computer or a telephone call. The classic example of this situation is the person who hacked into the State of Connecticut health records, then demanded $10,000,000 million dollars to return said medical records.

The stalkers have an advantage that didn’t exist before the age of the internet. Because of this, its hard for an individual to simply disappear or be hidden.

If it is possible that you can enlist the aid of someone to help hide you, then that option should be explored. This will allow you to maintain contact to those who are important in your life, and at the same time, isolate you from the stalker. It has to be someone, or an agency, that you can trust 125%.

To all those victims of stalking or psychopaths, I wish you luck, perserverance, and a safe life ahead of you.

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