If you have a stalker or harasser in your life, be assured there is a label for them and their stalking personality.
Here are a few of the countless types of stalkers out there…
Intimate partner stalker
This stalker, the most common type, is a partner or more commonly, an ex-partner, who can’t and won’t accept that a relationship has come to an end. They can’t let go.
This is the most dangerous type whose mission is to get even and/or take revenge. Mostly male, he has a grudge and he’s going to do something about it. The vengeful stalker may never have met his victim, who may be a politician, council official, boss, organisation, etc.
This one has a history of mental illness which may include schizophrenia or manic depression. The schizophrenic stalker may have stopped taking his or her medication and now lives in a fantasy world composed of part reality and part delusion which he or she is unable to differentiate. If they’re not careful, targets of the delusional stalker are likely to be sucked in to this fantasy world and start to have doubts about their own sanity, especially if the stalker is intelligent, and intermittently and seamlessly lucid and “normal”.
This stalker is also delusional and mentally ill and believes he or she is in love with you and will have created an entire relationship in their head.
Some stalker types like to be the centre of attention and may have an attention-seeking personality disorder; they may not be stalkers in the strict sense of the word but repeatedly pester anyone (especially anyone who is kind, vulnerable or inexperienced) who might be persuaded to pay them attention. If they exhibit symptoms of Munchausen Syndrome they may select a victim who they stalk by fabricating claims of harassment by this person against themselves.
Again, these may not be stalkers in the strict sense of the word but they have many similar characteristics. Love rats surf the web with the intention of starting relationships and may have several simultaneous relationships. The targets of a this stalker type may know little about the person they are talking to (other than what they’ve convincingly been fed) and be unaware of a trail of other targets past and present.
The Troll’s purpose is to be given more credibility than (s)he deserves, and to suck people into useless, pointless, never-ending, emotionally-draining, ranting discussions full of verbal loops and “word labyrinths”, playing people against each other, hurting their feelings, and wasting their time and emotional energy.
They are among the most persistent and potentially dangerous offenders. Domestic violence stalkers have a need to control their victims. When the victim leaves the relationship, he or she interprets this as a loss of control and is preconditioned to attempt reasserting control by whatever means necessary, including stalking, often coupled with violence. Tactics vary enormously. Some stalkers simply follow their victims continuously. Many others destroy or vandalize property, send packages or deliveries often of inappropriate or bizarre items, poison or kill pets, use phone threats, and contact employers, neighbors, and relatives, making normal life impossible.
The most common, persistent and intrusive of all stalkers, the rejected stalker is obsessed with someone who is a former romantic partner or friend, and who has ended their relationship with the stalker, or indicates that he or she intends to end the relationship; usually struggles with the complex desire for both reconciliation and revenge. They may become jealous if their victim enters or continues a romantic relationship with another person.
Looking for revenge against someone who has upset them. The behaviors are meant to frighten and distress the victim. The stalker views the target as being similar to those who have oppressed and humiliated them in the past, and they may view themselves as someone striking back against an oppressor. They may use personal threats, complaints to law enforcement and local government, property damage, theft or killing of pet, letters or notes on the victim’s car or house, breaking into the victim’s house or apartment, or watching the victim’s movements.
The least common of all the stalkers, this is the classic sexual predator whose plan is to physically or sexually attack the victim. This stalker may engage in such behaviors as surveillance of the victim, obscene phone calls, fetishism, voyeurism, sexual masochism and sadism, exhibitionism. The victim can be either someone the stalker knows, or a complete stranger.
Intimacy Seeker Stalker
The intimacy seeker seeks to establish an intimate, loving relationship with their victim. To them, the victim is a long sought-after soul mate, and they were meant to be together. They may interpret any kind of response from the victim as encouragement, even negative responses. This stalker may write letters, send gifts, or call their victim. They may believe the victim owes them love because of all they have invested in stalking them, and is very resistant to changing their beliefs.
Incompetent Suitor Stalker
The Incompetent Suitor desires a romantic or intimate relationship with the victim but is impaired in their social and courting skills. This stalker may be very narcissistic, and cut off from victim’s feelings (lack of empathy). The incompetent believes that anyone should be attracted to them. Typically, this stalker will repeatedly ask for dates, or call on the phone, even after being rejected. They may attempt physical contact by trying hold the victim’s hand or kiss the victim, however, they likely will not become physically violent or threatening.
Morbidly Infatuated Stalker
This stalker believes that the victim is in love with them. They believe this even though the victim has done nothing to suggest it is true, and may have made statements to the contrary. The infatuated stalker reinterprets what their victim says and does to support the delusion, and is convinced that the imagined romance will eventually become a permanent union. This stalker may suffer from acute paranoia, and typically chooses a victim of higher social status. Without psychological treatment, this stalker is likely to continue with their activities.
Cyberstalking and Cyberstalkers
Cyberstalking is an extension of the physical act of stalking; however, the behavior occurs using electronic mediums, such as the Internet and computer spy ware. They may use spy ware to access their target’s computer and the personal information contained within. Given the vast distances that the Internet spans, a “pure” cyberstalker will never move beyond electronic mediums and into physical stalking; cyberstalker’s motives can fit any of the categories described above.
False Victimization Syndrome
This is an extremely rare occurrence that involves someone who consciously or subconsciously desires to be placed in the role of a victim. They therefore establish a complex tale of being stalked, which is in fact false. Sometimes this individual is the actual perpetrator, and the stalker they identify may well be their own target.
Keep in mind that it’s common for stalkers to exhibit characteristics of more than one of these stalking types.
I know my own stalker falls into most of, if not all, the above categories. He is certainly a deranged lunatic who has a serious mental impediment.
Feel free to share what category your stalker falls into and leave a comment below…